Open
by MyMagentaPeach
Summary: FILLER/REWRITE 4x06: So what if Rachel had not lingered so closely and Blaine actually had had the opportunity to try and chase after Kurt without being interrupted? Where will the boys talking again lead?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

A/N: Written, …because that's what happens when I watch Glee, my mind has me produce those things, what are they again, oh, yes, … thoughts.

And because we had to suffer through minutes and minutes of Finchel to get a small glimpse of Klaine.

So what if Rachel had not lingered so closely and Blaine actually had had the opportunity to try and chase after Kurt without being interrupted?

WARNING: Beginning of the conversation is directly transcribed from the episode. So MAJOR SPOILER!

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**Open**

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"Kurt, I need to talk to you."

"I'm not interested."

"I, … um, I never told you about what happened. The guy that I hooked up with, I … I need you to know every…."

"What are you going to tell me? That it wasn't serious? That you only made-out? That you didn't care about him?"

"I didn't care …."

"Do you think any of that matters to me? … Relationships are about trust. And I don't trust you anymore. I was stupid to come back. Rachel's right, this isn't home anymore."

.

.

.

"This isn't about Rachel, Kurt. … Kurt, wait! Wait!"

"What, Blaine, WHAT?" And _'…shit,' _Kurt thinks as he turns back around and tears, held back before, start streaming down his face.

"I … I …," Blaine stutters, seeing Kurt's eyes filled again with the same pain he had seen in them that night in the park.

"What?" Kurt repeats voice smaller now, more exasperated than angry.

"I don't want you to hurt." Blaine steps forward and before Kurt can react he feels lips, soft and warm on his own.

Kurt had expected his instinct to be to push Blaine off himself, but here and now as his hands find Blaine's shoulders, and squeezing his eyes shut tighter, all he can think, all he feels, is _'… Home.' _Kurt allows his longing for closeness to overrule his wounded heart, mind blissfully blank for that one moment like it has not been in weeks - like it had felt all those times kissing when they had first gotten together, taking away, _'… being with you, so close, taking away all the bad memories, the pain of life before … us.'_

But as soon as Blaine's left hand comes up and begins to caress his right cheek, Kurt, shaking his head, pulls back. "No. I can't."

"Kurt, I love you," Blaine says softly.

And then Kurt has pulled back completely, arms crossed protectively in front of his chest, and is standing two full feet away from Blaine. "I can't."

"You don't love me anymore," Blaine says nodding, eyes glued to the floor now, thinking he understands.

"Idiot!"

Kurt's blatant insult has Blaine's eyes snap back up, finding Kurt's, meeting his, instantly.

"Of course I still love you. But I can't be with you, I can't be with anyone who has hurt me like this. I can't do that to myself, ... and I can't do that to you. It would all feel like a lie. I can't just pretend things are okay. It hurts, … every day. You have no idea how much I wish I could forgive you. I can't. It's too much. I thought I …, I never thought you would do this to us, ever."

"Kurt …."

"No."

Blaine is already pulling Kurt deep into his arms as Kurt speaks the word, and for a moment Blaine freezes, unsure if Kurt wants him to let go. Then he feels Kurt's body sack against his, hands fisting into the white of Blaine's jumper as Kurt's tears turn heavier.

"Why did you have to do that to us? Why did you have to break us apart?"

Blaine has tears stinging in his eyes now too, "I know I messed up. Please, can ... can I please be here for you. Please?"

"I don't want payback," Kurt whispers, last tears drying on his cheeks.

Blaine at first does not understand, stands frowning as he keeps hugging Kurt closely until Kurt's next words hit him.

"There will be someone else, … eventually."

Blaine had not even yet thought about that … at all.

Kurt feels Blaine still, body suddenly rigid. _'There is no point in staying, … dragging this out.'_

With one tight hug, Blaine still unmoving, in shock, Kurt takes a big step back, finds Blaine's eyes, "Goodbye, Blaine."

Kurt is already turning away when Blaine grasps Kurt's right hand in his left. "Kurt, wait. Please, will you open the next package I send you?"

Kurt's eyes softening, and giving Blaine's hand a gentle squeeze, Kurt nods, "Okay."

"Thank you."

For a brief moment they just stand, hands holding each other.

Then Blaine whispers, swallowing hard, "I won't stop loving you, you know."

"Neither will I. Don't know how," Kurt whispers back, half broken, as their hands glide apart with first steps in opposite directions.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yes, a brand new chapter, and there should be about one or two more to come, maybe even still this year, since they are already more than half written.

Meanwhile ...: I hope this chapter is what You guys hoped for.**  
**

And just in case -** Have a great start into the new year!  
**

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**Open**

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**Chapter 2:**

It takes Blaine a couple of days to get it all together. "I _need_ to get this right."

Yes, Blaine has been talking to himself, a lot, lately.

"Now where is …, right, okay," taking a deep breath Blaine picks up the tape and scissors he had almost been sitting on and reinforces the edges of the box in front of him once more before picking up a pen and writing the New York address he has long memorized onto the package.

The trip to the post office twenty minutes later is the most nerve wrecking thing that Blaine can remember having done in a long time.

"Gosh, what if …, what if he does not accept it after all," Blaine murmurs to himself when he climbs back into his car. _'What if he still hates me?' _Then Blaine remembers.

"_Of course I still love you."_

'_He still loves me.' _"You still love me."

llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllll

Kurt is surprised when the package Blaine had mentioned, one day, just sits there right in front of him, waiting for him on his bed.

"It came this morning, you were out, so …."

"It's fine, Rachel. Thank you."

"See you later, I need to get to the dance class from hell or I'll be late," Rachel quickly says her goodbye before rushing out the front door Kurt had only just come in through, literally a minute ago.

It is a deep sigh that fills the space two minutes later, Kurt feeling sure enough now Rachel won't make a mad dash back into their apartment, once again having forgotten something oh-so-essential. Yes, it has been known to happen since they moved in together, one or two _dozen _times, and that's the low estimate, well the kind one.

It is ridiculous.

Kurt slowly approaching the bed feels like he is … like that package might shatter from him just looking at it, splinter into thousands of pieces sharp and digging into his flesh - implode, or explode, he is still not sure; whatever it was his heart had done, _'…when Blaine said he had ….'_

And the fragile-stickers all over the package do not help either.

But somehow all this is the last thing Kurt wants to think about right now, _'This is supposed to be a new beginning_,' he tells himself. _'Isn't it?'_

Kurt cannot help wishing with all he has that whatever it is Blaine has sent him will make it possible. _'Something new, … for us, … together.'_

It is the reason he had not opened that last one, that package Blaine had sent before, afraid he would find something in it that would make him stop, stop loving that _'… bushy-haired idiot, who has given me so much,' _Kurt now thinks with a fond smile, _'Prom, that was … special. Both times,' _Kurt lets out a sigh.

It is only after making himself a cup of tea, and having changed into sweats and a t-shirt, his subconscious knows Blaine would approve of, that Kurt sits himself down cross-legged on his bed with a pair of scissors at hand.

"Stop beating like there is somewhere else than my chest for you to be, darn it," Kurt reprimands his heart. Yes, Kurt too has started talking to himself quite a bit since he and Blaine have broken up. Not as much as Blaine though.

Then again Blaine does not live with the one and only Rachel Berry, entertainer extraordinaire, in any, and every, sense of the word – and at any time of day or night too.

A final deep breath and Kurt, his tea mug set down now on his nightstand, carefully begins to cut open the tape, applied freely, he cannot help but notice, and the only thing still left between him and what he cannot help fear and hope for.


	3. Chapter 3

****A/N:

Wow, so many amazing comments:)

To **Guest**: Thank you for letting me know you'd love to read more. I dearly hope you will love this chapter and the next to come.

To **Kurtsie**: Oh WOW. Your words just blew me away, thank you for being so kind, appreciative and lovely. Your words really inspired me to emphasize this certain aspect of their personalities more in the rest of this story; yes you have definitly inspired deeply the further shaping of the boys' thoughts and words in this story. THANK YOU!

To **klaineisendgame11**: I love that you love my writing:) Thank you for the encouragement.

To **seeleyboothfan**: I know. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait and still has you excited for the next. Your profile picture is in a way so fitting for this story I could not help but notice just rereading and responding to the lovely words people left me, I'm sure you'll get why I could not help but think that after you've read this chapter. Thank you for keeping sharing your thoughts on my stories and story developments with me again and again.

To **gleefreak102**: I hope you too love what you find Kurt finding in the package Blaine sent.

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**Open**

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**Chapter 3:**

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"Blaine," it is the first word that escapes Kurt's mouth as he, holding apart the carton flaps separated, cannot help smiling fondly, with only a tiny twinge of sadness inside, at what meets his eyes first.

_I Promised. _– The two words clearly carefully written, in what Kurt knows to be Blaine's extra clear and careful handwriting, are the first thing Kurt's eyes have found and won't easily let go of again.

Eventually they do though, and then Kurt realizes quickly, _'There is more.'_

_x  
_

_I Promised._

_I promised so much, Kurt. I want to keep this promise if you'll allow it. I want you in my life, Kurt, always._

_Love Always, Blaine. _

_x_

It is all the writing Kurt finds, in all off the box, none of what else Blaine sent him needing any explanation. Not even the thing he misses at first sight and will only find later, when in an emotional phone call to Blaine it is gently pointed out to him.

Words plenty are not needed, were not needed, Blaine knew it, knows it, had still dared to hold on to that knowledge and hope writing the note, sending this package. Kurt does too, know, hope, _love_ still, as he picks up item after item, spreading them out all around himself on his bed, piece by piece.

The note, honest, short, and Kurt cannot bring himself to deny it _'… sweet,' _is taped, lightly, to "... an actually fully functional snow globe cookie jar?"

"Blaine. How …? …, only you. Where do you even find this stuff?" Kurt splutters out to an empty room like Blaine is right here with him.

Oh yes, Blaine has a mind and more than one eye for intriguingly wonderful, and at least equally absurd, inventions - as much as Kurt has two excellent eyes for bargains when it comes to clothing.

"Dork," Kurt whispers fondly into the room, as he would whisper, leaning in, into Blaine's ear where he only, _'If only you were here, and we were us, still.'_

Instead he leans over and lifts the construction with great care and concentration out of the box and places it right in front of himself on the bed, the three dvds, book, and diary Blaine too has sent lying still to his left and right.

Taking a closer look, Kurt finds how truly clever the design is.

To be cleaned and refilled more easily, the see-through jar on the inside can be completely lifted out of the separate crystal ball construction, the crystal lid both applicable to jar and crystal ball.

And there are four scenes depicted individually, against a beautiful dark blue backdrop that allows just the slightest shimmer to come through of the content, of the cookies Blaine has filled it with, when the removable jar is in place.

Kurt removes the jar, then, after putting it down on his nightstand, next to his still half-full cup of now cold tea, turns his attention back to the snow globe and taking the lid off the jar screws it into its place on the snow globe.

It is exciting, that first time, turning it onto its head.

One quarter shows, upon shaking, snow falling charmingly onto mountains and trees, a small lake even with tiny figures ice-skating on it.

On another quarter Kurt finds a field, already a vibrant spring green, being delicately decorated with colourful spring flowers when the globe is shaken.

The final two show forest scenes, Kurt loves to discover, remembering instantly their walks in the Dalton grounds, almost every day as long as they both went there.

It had been long, solitary, but so far from lonely, walks, from the very first day on that they had gotten together, filled with kisses, and hands clasped tight, holding each other warm, close always. "You really found the perfect spot for Pavarotti," Kurt cannot help slip past his lips his expression softening further with sadness and the memories of those very first days of "Love." How he misses it, them, "... Blaine, Love."

The yellow lightly glittery specks falling, as Kurt without even properly registering at first moves to shake the globe again, create the illusion of vibrant summer sunlight breaking through the trees, standing in a silhouette close and dark still, in the lingering shadows of an early morning hour reminiscent scenery. And they bring Kurt out of his thoughts again, back into his New York apartment.

The last scene pictured is one of colourful leaves, strong yellows and reds, raining down on a delicately drawn river and the undergrowth of the forest surrounding it.

And at first Kurt does not dare to understand fully why this scene makes him feel the way it does.

Happy, deep inside, and …

… and _so very sad_, too.

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A/N: One more chapter to come:) SO SORRY I did not reset from _complete_ to _incomplete_ in the story features last chapter, and thank you to the reviewers, sweet and lovely as you guys are, for not getting upset with me about it, but instead being encouraging for me to write more. It is always a wonderful thing to hear in all the amazing variations you can think of saying it, a pleasure to read. I hope this chapter is too.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:  
**

Hi, so, yes, finally, the last chapter. I don't think it is perfect in any way, but I really wanted to post it today, for you and for me. And I hope it is enough, enough for you to feel the love between them that I wanted to share with you guys.

The movies and book I mention, I love them so much, I am currently reading that book, it is SO good, it makes me cry so hard, and the only thing I hate about that is that I have to stop reading while I do. Good stories are just like that:)

To **seeleyboothfan**: If you ever actually find a snow globe cookie jar, pleasepleasepleasePLEASE let me know. I wish they existed and I did not totally make them up:)

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**Open**

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**Chapter 4:**

It is not just the colors, warm and inviting, lovely in their brightness. But … it is the colors. _'Our colors.'_

Once only lovely, filled to the brim with love, they are now tainted with grief, resentment, … pain.

And Kurt cannot help seeing the image again, that thing he had dreamed about the night Blaine had told him, had still been lying next to him. It is what had driven him straight from the nightmare out of his bed, away from Blaine, so that he could cry in the bathroom for almost the whole of an hour before sitting down in the living room, waiting, all the while flashing back to that image.

The image of roses, red and yellow lying on a sidewalk in the rain, no longer perfectly set with each other but scattered everywhere in a wild mess, and … trampled, trampled into the ground, the rainwater pouring down washing all color, lively and bright, out of them … into the gutter, leaving them black and dead. Only then Kurt had known he was in a dream, a nightmare.

It takes him a moment to snap back out of it, the memory, _'Only a memory.'_

As his hands find the globe again, smooth and cool and _'… wet?' _Kurt realizes he has started crying.

They have hit the book Blaine has sent too. And the tears are seeping into the cover of _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_ already. It is Blaine's copy, Kurt has no doubt, so really it is _'… our copy,'_ showing signs of loving wear, and Kurt knows he will find it filled to the brim with notes, notes made up of Blaine's thoughts and words, and … Blaine. They have done this for almost 17 months now, again and again, build a small library together, picking a book each, and then reading and filling the margins and not seldom pages and pages of extra paper with thoughts, and then swapped the books.

_This is the best kind of reading._ Kurt had once found scribbled after the last sentence of one of the books Blaine had chosen, and then at the top of the blank page beside it. _I love your mind._

"Shit," he furiously wipes away the tears – off his face, off the snow globe, "Our book," too.

'_The snow globe, our books, cookies, …'_ they more than anything remind him how well Blaine knows him.

"This is so you, … and so me, at the same time," even the new thing, the snow globe, a present he can use all year round, does not have to hide away at any time in a cupboard or wardrobe.

'_The way we wanted to live our love … next year, here, together. … finally, no more hiding, no more sneaking around anyone's house. Us, everywhere, always.'_

Kurt can feel new tears bubbling inside already, ready to break and take, …and then Kurt's eyes – Kurt trying to look anywhere but at the presents surrounding him on his bed – are caught on the cookies on the nightstand. "They are not!"

Snowflakes, Blaine has "…you have made freaking snowflake-shaped cookies."

Before he knows what he is doing Kurt has his phone in hand, Blaine's number, still on speed dial, already pressed.

"Kurt?"

"Blaine, you are insane," the smile is clear in Kurt's voice. "How long did it take you to put this together?"

"Kurt, I, it was for you. I really wanted to give you something …."

"Special."

"Yeah," Blaine says smiling now too, as he keeps listening to that joyous swing in Kurt's voice, _'I made him smile.'_ After all, it had been the whole point to this, to Blaine.

"Well, you definitely did that. Thank you, Blaine. Thank you so much. For the book, the movies too. How did you know I'd lost my copies of _But I'm A Cheerleader, The History Boys _and _Beautiful Thing_ while moving?"

"You, um, you told me they somehow got lost, … the last time we skyped."

"Oh, yeah, wow, thank you for remembering," Kurt replies less overwhelmed with emotion and excitement, and more softly now.

"It's nothing."

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"It's _so _much."

"Did you see the ginger-peppermint drops I put in?"

… and for this brief moment in their conversation they both feel exactly like they had all along with each other, happy together, no, more, … complete …

"You did?" Kurt squeaks surprised and delighted, instantly beginning to rummage in the box and quickly finding the delicately wrapped treat in one corner. "Blaine, you are amazing," another squeak. "I love these so much. Who knew there would be something I would miss when moving out of Ohio."

Kurt realizes too late what he has said, the heavy silence suddenly falling on the other end scaring him instantaneously.

Kurt finds himself rushing, with words, to reassure, "Blaine, I'm sorry, I didn't, … I have missed you, I still miss you every day. You know that. Right?"

The feeling in Blaine's throat is thick, but he tries to swallow around it to bring out the words, "I, I know, Kurt. It's fine."

"It's not fine if I just hurt you. I didn't mean to."

"No, Kurt, I know. You wouldn't." The aching silence, that Kurt just knows Blaine spends fighting to hold back, hold in, pain – because that is who Blaine has been brought up to think he needs to be, always – breaks Kurt's heart even more than the words that follow, "You deserve so much better than …."

"Blaine, stop. Stop. Please. I … you are the best friend I ever had. You still are that, you know that. You do, right?"

"You really mean it?"

And Kurt cannot stand to be unable to hold Blaine right now, who he just knows is sitting alone in an empty, cold house, broken, and looking it.

Kurt's free hand tightens in his bedcovers as he hears the tears rising in Blaine's voice, "Kurt?"

"I really, _really_, mean it. I love you, I always will love you. You are my best friend, Blaine. But don't tell Rachel I said that. You know how weirdly competitive she can get even about this, and unlike yours her baking is horrendous. You could throw her a hint about that if you like, maybe she will give it up then, trying to bribe me with food into taking over her household chores. But your cookies, Blaine, they are just amazing …," and there it is again that sound to Kurt's voice.

'_Happiness.'_ Blaine lets out a wet laugh at the other end of the line at that thought, that feeling, and, "I am so glad you love your presents."

"I love _you_, Blaine."

"I love _you_."

"Blaine, you know that you will always matter so much to me, right?"

"I do? I mean, I, … I will? What if I screw up again?" It is a hesitant, broken whisper Kurt almost misses.

"You do matter to me, so much. That is why it all hurt so bad, still does, because I don't want to let go of you, not ever. And yes, I am that selfish. And, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"I screwed up too, it wasn't all you. I should have made time to be there for you more than two video calls a week that I ended up talking about only myself all the time."

"Can I come visit you? Soon? I miss you," Blaine dares to bring forth in a whisper. "I miss us."

"Well I need someone to eat all these cookies with, don't I."

Two weeks pass before Kurt and Blaine can actually find a date that fits for both of them.

Rachel gone for the weekend to see Shelby, since she will be spending Thanksgiving with her dads, it is the perfect opportunity. So the weekend before Thanksgiving Blaine flies out to visit Kurt.

Deciding not to care that there is that glee club last minute practice scheduled that Blaine just knows will not be productive anyway, if the past year is anything to go by.

Not that Blaine had minded all the opportunities to sneak out with Kurt during last year's many last minute practices. With the school empty apart from them, it had not been hard at all to find a quite place to make out.

Their weekend this year is much quieter, and there is none of that, … making out.

But really all Blaine cares about from the moment on that he gets off the plane is Kurt's smile when their eyes meet again, and Kurt beside him, with him all day, as they explore the city together.

And Kurt thinks it is funny how, "… how much more fun, how different it is, being here with you. You know instead of Rachel. I mean she tries but, she does not really quite get …."

"Get you?" Blaine speaks up almost with a shy note to his voice, as if he cannot think it to be true that he hears Kurt saying these words.

"Yes."

Blaine nods, "It's the same with Sam."

There is a pause, a couple of more steps, side by side, _'…that tiny huff you always do when you steel yourself to say something overwhelmingly important to you,' _Kurt thinks, an adoring smile on his lips.

And then there are Blaine's words, "No one gets me like you do."

Blaine is startled into complete stillness, apart from his eyes lifting from the ground, he had them fixed on walking down the street side by side with Kurt, as Kurt reaches out and intertwines their gloved hands.

It is the best afternoon Blaine has had in so long – walking the streets of New York, stopping at a couple of galleries and going into one museum to warm up a little from the chilly weather, all the while holding hands, at first still gloved then, after a stop to get coffee, just them, just skin on skin, warm, soft, right.

It is the best night's sleep Kurt has gotten since he moved to New York, when – having gone to bed separately, Rachel having okayed the use of her bed by Blaine – after watching each other lying there, all curtains drawn back, Kurt notices the little shiver running through Blaine's body. "Are you cold?"

"A little."

So Kurt lifts his covers, nodding for Blaine to join him.

Blaine carefully tiptoes over and, both boys clad in pyjamas, gingerly slips under the covers.

He tries to lie still, unsure how to behave, how not to drape himself all around Kurt, like he used to not so long ago every chance he got.

But before Blaine can worry any more Kurt has pulled him into the warmth of his chest and draped himself all over Blaine. "I miss this."

Blaine, encouraged by Kurt's words manages to breathe out, "I miss holding you close, falling asleep next to you, … more than anything."

There is no making out tonight, but there is a kiss placed to Blaine's forehead, Kurt getting the response to it from Blaine, he had hoped for – the boy relaxing completely now into their shared warmth.

No, there is no making out tonight, but there is a whole lot of love.

And then there is tomorrow.


End file.
